“Well Played Universe, Well Played” ~ An Unsuspecting Way the High Self and QHHT Helps to Heal Childhood Abuse ~ A QHHT Session by Suzanne Spooner
Recently I have had such an array of QHHT clients; from the very typical and easy to the very challenging. The one I am writing about is a successful farmer who just recently found Dolores Cannon and QHHT. By his own account he was ego driven but wanting to tame his ego and get insight to anger and rage he had. He was a very nice man ~but man oh man~ from the interview I thought he might be challenging! USUALLY a QHHT client easily lets go into hypnosis and allows his/her High Self to show them 1-3 past lives or other experiences that help explain why life has been the way it has. They come to the session with a list of questions they want their High Self (subconscious) to answer. Almost without fail this happens and all their questions are answered and so much more. QHHT is the quintessential experience that ALL answers are within. As a QHHT practitioner, (and total geek on this amazing process) I guide my client through this process. Not all can get out of their own way. The ego, conscious mind is crafty and annoying at times. And as a true testament to Dolores and QHHT, every session is perfect, even if it may not look like it initially. I thought about dividing this post into two parts but truly, I think it is best to have it all together. The magnitude of childhood or adult abuse is staggering. This process of QHHT is a way to safely explore not only this topic but to get clarity and understanding on all life has to offer. Life is messy. Understanding brings forgiveness and even compassion. Bless us all. ~ Suzanne
His session used all my skills and then some. He did all the classic left-brain behaviors of thinking he wasn’t in deep enough, tossing and turning ~ laying on his stomach and away from me…OY! He wanted to use the bathroom right after we started (he had used the bathroom moments before and this is a classic trick by the Ego or Conscious Mind to get the client out of hypnosis). He did use the bathroom during the last part of his session and shared that he had pee’d for 10 min and didn’t think there could be any more fluid in him (nice detox being done by his High Self). He would JUST start to have insight and then would open his eyes and want to sit up. This went on for 2 hours. My thoughts went from, not being concerned, to wondering if he was going to finally let go, to deciding I would help him wear his Conscious Mind down. OH! And he came into the session with no list of questions…said he wasn’t interested in his past, just wanted his High Self to wing it. I wrote up some questions based on his interview. He saw 2 past lives and a scene of an outdoor gathering from this childhood where an older man made him feel very uncomfortable. Nothing seemed too notable about this man, just that he made my client feel uncomfortable.
He actually did very well for where he began at in the interview. All the questions were answered but with lots of stops and starts. But I could see he was disappointed at the end and reassured him that he would be getting some insight and listening to his recording would help. I wasn’t completely sold on the idea myself! Ha! And off he went. So as I opened up his email the next day, my stomach sank a little as I began to read. But as I continued on, he really gave such a beautiful understanding of how QHHT sessions that don’t look perfect or complete have their own perfection. I share his emails with you in hopes of giving some understanding and maybe assisting yourself or others who have experienced abuse.*Be aware his language is…colorful at times. He’s a lovely, salty character. 🙂 My explanations are in bold.
My deep and humble gratitude goes to AJ for allowing me to share his name, emails and most importantly his journey of self discovery in what is Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy. As he states best: There is only one human reaction that is universally appropriate for any situation and that is compassion.
I have to say, I walked out of your office today feeling a bit dejected. I got in my truck and my wife asked me how it went. I told her it didn’t feel anything like I imagined. In fact, I had felt like I had forced part of the experience for your benefit. It didn’t really feel like I was as far under as I am when I meditate. I was cognizant for all of it. I could hear everything I said. I kept twitching and waking up, and don’t get me started on having to whiz. At one point I actually felt like I was saying things just to please you, because you kept asking so nice. It never really felt like my ego had fully relinquished control so that I could get to where I needed to be.
So when our session was over, I was disappointed in myself that I had driven all the way down and spent the money and had not been able to set my ego aside long enough to let anything through.
My wife took me to this antique store she found while you and I were in session to show me a coffee table she found. We got it and I carried it out of the store and put it in the truck. I didn’t feel wonky (Why should I? The session had been a bust.) ~ I had suggested to him to take it easy & eat so he would feel grounded and not wonky~ so I drove us to Joe’s Crab Shack on the way out of town. I had a drink with my meal (and a big glass of water, get off my back) ~ I always suggest not to drink the night of a session ~ and reflected. It still felt like I had blown it.
I kicked myself a little more and we left on the 3 hour ride home. My wife drove. We stopped for fuel about 20 minutes later and I went into the store for a coke. I noticed I was beginning to feel really happy. We started off again and for the next hour my joy gradually increased. I plugged my iPhone in and put on some music. By this time I was absolutely blissful. I thought it bizarre that one drink with my meal would have this large of an impact on me.
As the music played I realized I was in the moment and it is about the most amazing goddamn place I’ve ever been. All my negative crap dropped away. I wasn’t judging anyone, arguing with anyone in my head, there were no egoic thoughts and reactions, there was no jealousy or fear. There was only this moment, right now, and Sweet Fancy Moses, it was pretty damn great.
I marveled at the windmills along the interstate silhouetted against a majestic cumulonimbus edged in pink and blue. The clouds were straight out of a Maxfield Parrish painting. Roger Waters’ lyrics have never been so deep and brilliant. The sonic picture he created with David Gilmore is timeless.
Tears welled up as I listed off the things I have to be so grateful about. My brilliant wife, my healthy, beautiful children, my humble, yet satisfying home in the country. Parents who are still doing well. People should pay money to live like me for a week. The grammy winning album by Adele came on next. Such clever turn-of-phrase in the lyrics. Such power and emotion in her voice. This woman deserved a seat among the great female vocalists of all time.
By this point I had realized that it wasn’t my drink with supper, it was the session that was causing this euphoria. I was uplifted by the thought that somehow, the non-physicals had slipped one passed my ego goalie and the ice breaker was on its way to the titanic iceberg of mixed metaphors that is this sentence.
Yes sir, the hard, dark, grimy shell of my ego was cracking and letting light through and it was glorious! Just as Adele’s voice reached a crescendo, it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks.
The heavyset man in the blue shirt who had turned his head sideways to reveal his profile. The man I described to you in session. He was my abuser. I identified him. It was a good thing my wife had offered to drive after supper because I broke down. It wasn’t a little breakdown, it was a bomb blowing up the Hoover dam breakdown. I was racked with sobbing.
One second I was light as a feather, grateful for life, the next I was a terrified five year old, reeling and sobbing with confusion and pain. It was lucky we had a box of puffs in the vehicle because I used them up. If you thought I had to pee a lot, you should’ve seen me cry and blow my nose. Definitely used up all the free water in my body.
While I’m staggered as this heavily fortified memory has spilled open all over my new mental carpet, I’m not mad. This ‘man’ completely abused his position in my community. I’m reasonably sure I wasn’t the only one he did this to.
The High Self gave me enough presence to handle the revelation. The information kept pouring in. I began connecting dots about how much of my life and personality were shaped by these events. I was very young, and it’s definitely the reason for the solitude and the shyness in my youth. Hiding and trying to stay away from people. I can feel connections to this and it runs deep in to me in all sorts of unexpected ways. This was such a formative event in my life. One of the most unexpected results has been the relief that has settled over me since the waterworks played out. I feel strangely serene. The boil has been lanced and I feel serene.
In case you are wondering, the session had a little more impact than I initially thought. Holy shit, I couldn’t have been more wrong after the session. The word powerful doesn’t scratch what you are doing there.
I know I have to get this out of the way to move on. I know I asked to find out. I know it has blocked me for so long in so many different ways. I know I was given the tools to handle this before I was told. Right now, the relief of having it gone outweighs the pain of the memory. I do not have a complete picture of the event, but I have enough pieces to the puzzle to fill in the gaps. I think that will most likely switch back and forth in coming days and weeks, but now that I know about it, I can sweep up the pain and put it someplace where it can’t corrode the rest of my life like it has been doing for decades.
Sooo, I got pretty much everything I asked for. Presence, information, and healing. Not a damn bit of it came in a fashion anywhere CLOSE to how I imagined it, and I’m no stranger to this (metaphysical) stuff. Well played universe, well played.
Thank you from the bottom of a somewhat lighter, shell-shocked heart,
Two week post session update:
If you ask me what is different about my life and/or outlook since my QHHT session with Suzanne two weeks ago, I would have a hard time putting my finger on something specific. I will, however, swear emphatically that there has been a subtle, yet powerful shift in my consciousness.
It has not been a level path since the session by any means. I have experienced some ups and downs since. In our discussion prior to the session, I told Suzanne that I was more interested in the healing, rather than the past life aspects of her services. After almost 15 years of varying degrees of active self exploration, I felt stuck. A lot of the ‘new age’ books, information, and techniques all seemed to be pointing towards the same thing, but I couldn’t get there myself.
The analogy of the 3 blind men, each describing a different part of the elephant seems to apply to a lot of the things I tried. But regardless of whether or not I could relax my brain to the theta state as instructed by my remote viewing course, or let go of resistance like my Sedona Method taught me, or segment intend like Abrahams-Hicks wanted me to do, (I even had a fair amount of experience with someone who could channel during which the universe essentially opened a portal into our dimension in order to bitch-slap me, but that is a topic for another run-on sentence) or live in the moment like Eckart Tolle, or let go of my ego with self-hypnosis or whatever, I still felt like I was trapped and continually repeating the mistakes of the past, unable to figure out what I had to do to break the cycle, just like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day. Being an egoic asshole always kept me waking up to Sonny and Cher’s, “I Got You, Babe”.
The good news is; the universe doesn’t hand you anything you didn’t ask for or can’t handle. Although I was initially disappointed for the first hour or so after the session, I was soon settling into a place of intense presence. Holy shit. So this is what everyone is talking about. Wow. It is such an incredible state of mind. Nothing bothers you, nothing worries you. You take what comes and you don’t feel threatened or resistance. You truly are content with yourself and the things around you.
This is what zen is.
It was in this moment of intense presence that the universe decided to answer a mystery. My mind suddenly flashed on an image from my session with Suzanne. It was an image from my childhood of an outdoor gathering in a park on a pleasant summer evening. There was a man at this gathering I didn’t like and was avoiding. I couldn’t see his face, but it was clear I wanted him to leave. He turned to reveal his profile, but I couldn’t place him. I knew him, yet couldn’t think of his name. Suzanne moved on in the session and nothing more was said about this scene from my memory.
As I sat in my vehicle, settling into this amazing place of connectedness, finding everything around me beautiful and enjoying the moment, the universe dropped a bomb on me. I remembered who the man was. The man in the park, that I saw as a child and couldn’t place, had sexually abused me as a small child. I went from bliss to agony in seconds.
The floodgates opened and 40 years of repressed tears and pain poured out of me like a torrent. The gigantic, toxic, festering boil in my psyche had just been lanced and I was reeling. Even though the event was decades old, the repressed memory was fresh and vivid and it brought me to my knees.
In this moment of intensely painful revelation, I was also given a bizarre roadmap of how this event has spilled over onto almost every aspect of my life. I was shown connections between my abuse and facets of my personality, various decisions to be shy or withdraw, choosing avoidance over engagement, knee jerk reactions, and, of course, the anger issues that have corroded so much of my life. This was a very pivotal, formative event in my life and the impact was deep and far-reaching. It was shown to me in an instant that was crystal clear and definite.
After about an hour, the tears began to subside and the gigantic snarl of shit that 60 minutes earlier I didn’t even know existed began to give way to serenity. Serenity, you say? For about 48 hours afterwards, I experienced a strange serene calm. My wife who was keeping a pretty close eye on me through this, asked how I was doing. After we talked a bit she told me that I was the only guy she knows who finds out he was sexually abused as a child and gets happier because of it. I told her that maybe it was because I’ve already spent 40 years being pissed off at something I felt but couldn’t remember. Now that I remember, I can stop.
My suspicion is that my central/higher/subconscious self prepped me for the revelation by bringing me into the moment; as that is the best place to be for such news. The lines were drawn for my conscious self and something that had been pent up for a damn long time was uncovered. The mental location I was guided to, so that I could allow myself to process this memory in a way that feels like the first healthy treatment its gotten in a loooong time.
I’m pretty sure that the QHHT session did the work of about 10-15 years of conventional psychotherapy in 2 hours.
The work I had done prior to meeting Suzanne, though minimal by comparison, was certainly not a waste. During my journey, I had made some headway in overcoming an ego that had an effectively hidden source of power. However, it seemed that every time I managed to let go of a piece of it, my ego would come roaring back sometime in the next few days. I would be short and lash out at someone or everything until it felt like it had regained some of the lost territory. If you have ever felt like you were destined to repeat your mistakes, it is the ego that oversees your doing just that. I often felt that whenever I had a moment of true presence, I would spend the next few days waiting for the other shoe to drop and it invariably would. So I was understandably curious when my new found presence would fade.
The word ‘quantum’ is a little overused in our vernacular. It has been used to describe everything from razor blades to electronics and cars. Taken from the definition of an abrupt change or a dramatic advance, the word quantum is entirely perfect in the QHHT name. The technique utilized to access your central self is both staggeringly powerful and deceptively simple.
The practitioner Suzanne relaxed me into a safe place and allowed me to access information my psyche and then process it in a fashion that was not part of the old way of doing things, the old cycle of egoic control. I held in myself both the problem and the solution and Suzanne catalyzed a large step towards the first real relief I’ve ever had from this.
Now, it’s pretty cocky of me to claim that I’m all better and A-ok. I have no idea where I stand in the spectrum of processing pain. My glorious presence faded somewhat after that first 48 hours. When my old ego worked its way back to the drivers seat, I had some anger.
Over the past 2 weeks, I have had moments where confronting this man and subsequently hitting him over the head with a shovel has seemed like a really good idea. But, to be fair there have been moments where I have a lot of forgiveness and I just want to let sleeping dogs lie.
Considering what this man did to me, I am not fighting with him in my head anywhere NEAR what I could. I have had much, much angrier reactions over much smaller events. I have had far stronger feuds in my head, long lasting mental feuds with various people whom I’ve felt slighted by for various things over the years than I have with my abuser since the revelation.
Hell, to be honest, there was a guy who tried to get me voted off a board we both sat on that I have been waaaay more angry with for a much longer time than my abuser. So, yes, I have had waves of anger come over me.
Mostly though, I feel compassion because I’m pretty certain I wasn’t the only one. Mostly, I feel compassion for the other victims. I wish there were some way to create and advertise a support group because I think this monster was a bomb that went off in my community only there was no smoldering crater in the aftermath. Instead, there are people in this town whom have drinking, drug, or sexual dysfunctions and don’t know why. People who just can’t seem to get their shit together in life and don’t know why. I believe that like myself, there are a bunch of people in my hometown carrying the same burden around, unable to put it down and unable to move past it.
This is what I spend most of my time thinking about. How good it felt to put it down and an I help anyone else do the same. I decided to tell my story in an attempt to encourage others on the fence to make an appointment with a QHHT practitioner and begin to remove your blockages. Begin to get in touch with who you really are. There is only one human reaction that is universally appropriate for any situation and that is compassion. More than anything, my session with Suzanne expanded my compassion. We, as a people cannot have too much compassion for each other. ~ AJ
Copyright 2014 © Suzanne Spooner. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way and the content remains complete, including all links found below.
Suzanne Spooner’s QHHT Website: www.infinityhealers.com
TAUK Website: www.TAUKsite.com
TAUK/QHHT Blog: www.tauksuzanne.com
Dolores Cannon’s website: http://www.dolorescannon.com/ Dolores developed the process of QHHT.